Image credit: mary1826
You broke up with your loved one. It does not matter why or how. It is important that you still hurts. You look for his silhouette in the crowd, you shudder at the sound of his name, and at night you cry in the pillow. How to help yourself not get bogged down in this “lost” state?
Now it seems to you: you will never be able to forget it and in life no one else will love like him. In general, both these thoughts … are true. Indeed, it is unlikely that you will have selective amnesia and from your memory, the memories of an important, emotionally colored period of your life will be completely erased.
And it is absolutely incredible that you would experience the same range of feelings in relation to two completely different people!
However, what you now perceive as a tragedy, can be your strongest trump card. Give up stereotypes, let your feelings flow out, stop evaluating yourself and your emotions – and a sea of new opportunities opens before you!
How to heal a broken heart?
1. Carry out the analysis. Give the name to each of the experiences that are now overwhelming you. The results of such an inner work can surprise you! Having spread your feelings on the shelves, you can find in yourself resentment, anger, despair, pain, anguish – yes anything, except, actually … love. Agree, the desire to die or, for example, aversion to the whole world does not have the slightest relation to love. Such “discoveries” will help you change the angle of view and understand: what you are experiencing for your “ex” is no longer love.
2. Do not try to forget. What we focus on is multiplied. If you are struggling to “not think about the yellow monkey,” it is these thoughts that will haunt you. So if in your head there are images from a past life with the former, just let them calmly show themselves, without delaying. Do not focus on them, but do not punish yourself for any “unauthorized” recollection.
3. Do not hide your feelings. Attempts to keep a good face in a bad game, firstly, are not very convincing (unless, of course, you are a professional actress). Secondly, to forbid your feelings is a dangerous business. It’s like covering a boiling cauldron with a lid: sooner or later an explosion will inevitably follow. To get rid of negative feelings, you need to live them. Tears came to your eyes? Cry. Do you want to pour out your friend’s soul? Do it. Is she angry? Fill the pillow. In the end, now is not the simplest period in your life and it is quite natural that you can have negative emotions. And do not label yourself. Speak (and think!): “I feel bad (lonely, melancholy)”, and not “I’m lonely”, “I’m a failure”.
4. Do not look for meetings with the former. Of course, sometimes very, very, trembling in the hands I want to call to hear my own voice, or write, or wait around the corner of his office to just see how he will exit the door. In general, you can do it all. Just keep in mind that the most likely consequences of such an act are feelings of bitterness, disappointment and contempt for oneself for a moment’s weakness.
5. Get rid of his things. If you still have some of his things, pack them in boxes and send him by courier. Take out of sight the joint photos and his gifts. Any reminder of “how well you were together”, you now absolutely nothing! On the contrary, your goal is to clear the space (both external and internal) for new achievements!
Image credit: komposit
6. Change the situation. Go somewhere on vacation. If it hurts you to be in the apartment where you lived together, move for a week or two to your parents or to your best friend. In extreme cases, make a rearrangement in the apartment, change the curtains, tablecloths and bedspreads. Changes in the external environment will inevitably lead to changes in your mood.
7. Knockout the wedge with a wedge. Nothing heals a broken heart like a new love. And this does not necessarily have to be a love for a man. Fall in love with your work, discover for yourself some new hobby. In the world an incredible number of fascinating things – it’s time to discover the charm of handicraft, cooking, dancing, calligraphic writing or photo.
Image credit: SplitShire
8. Down with workaholism! Many girls after parting with their beloved head off to work: they sit in the office almost before midnight, work on weekends. In fact, behind all these “labor exploits” lies the fear of remaining alone in an empty apartment. Such tactics will not do you any good. After all, the first companion of a workaholic is chronic fatigue syndrome. What career achievements are there?
9. Just live! Do not think whether the next day will bring you relief from pain or a long-awaited meeting with the new chosen one – live to the full the present moment and enjoy it. What are you doing at this moment? Do you drink tea with chocolate candy? Right now you are delicious – and it’s great! Read a good book – fine. Has slept well as it is necessary – it is magnificent. Instead of living with the feeling “I feel bad,” concentrate on what you are doing directly this second. And you will find that almost at any time you have something to be glad about.
10. Let go with a light heart. Mentally say goodbye to your “ex.” You can write him a letter or scroll in your mind a sketch where you will tell him everything that has accumulated on the soul (or just limit yourself to short “farewell” – as you wish). This ritual of farewell is necessary in order to internally realize: now you are a free woman. Also it is ready to meet new love!